The Top Signs That a Snake is Poisonous

The Top Signs That a Snake is Poisonous

The Top Signs That a Snake is Poisonous
5. It doesn’t look less annoyed when you tip-toe.
4. It doesn’t say goodbye when you do.
3. It doesn’t try to eat the strawberry you gave it.
2. It doesn’t have any friends.
1. It doesn’t laugh at your jokes.

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Terre Haute Super 8

Terre Haute Super 8

Staring at the hallway walls of the Terre Haute Super 8, I am struck by a singular painting hanging on the wall. The image is of a pale horse, standing on a cliff looking out over a horizon which includes the sea. Who is this artist? Does the negative space of the ocean reflect their own anonymity, lost among the drab beige wallpaper of a mid-western luxury hotel. And as my mind wanders, I ponder why this signature painting hangs here and not in some famous private art gallery and if the complimentary continental breakfast is still available after 10:30am.

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The Top Places to Get Attacked by Birds

The Top Places to Get Attacked by Birds

The Top Places to Get Attacked by Birds
7. Mountain tops.
6. The park at 3am.
5. Hang gliding.
4. Anywhere with French fries.
3. On a riverboat casino.
2. The Minnesota cracker factory.
1. The bus station.

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Transfer at JFK

Transfer at JFK

During my transfer at JFK en route to Terre Haute, I am reminded of the famous adage, “All roads pass through Rome.” But as I search the food court for a suitable place to dine, I am also reminded that Romans vomited during meals and routinely suffered from syphilis (for which there was no cure).

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The Top Terms of Endearment

The Top Terms of Endearment

The Top Terms of Endearment:
7. Wiggly
6. Crouton
5. Sweet Potato
4. Dysentery
3. Sugar Baby Pie Face Head
2. Sketchy
1. Leprechaun

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