The Red-Billed Streamertail / Montego Bay | A Wandering Minstrel I

The Red-Billed Streamertail / Montego Bay


he sirens lined up, in single file, covered in day-glo body paint like plumage of the world’s most exotic birds. As the Club Kaos DJ raised his hand over each one, the crowd roared their approval for the most exotic of all. As the winner was announced and took to the front of the stage for her victory trot, the foam began to descend from the ceiling in wave after wave.

The calm before the foam.

The crowd retreated to the middle of the dance floor, celebrating in ecstasy as the foam spewed white from the ceiling to perform variously elaborate courtship displays. (And much like the Red-Billed Streamertail that also inhabits this bay, their courtship displays also involved bikinis and re-mixed Top 40 songs).

The throngs take the opportunity to engage in any sort of debauched behavior – such as making out with multiple partners – or executing subtle dance moves which haven’t been seen since the Cro-Magnon mated in the La Ferrassie caves.  It seemed that the crowd allowed themselves to plummet down into the filthy regions of their sub-conscious with the knowledge that their prurient actions will all be cleansed by mountains of soapy foam.

This reporter – standing in a corner and snapping surreptitious photographs of every reveler he could see – was glad for the soap.


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